Joey's Brain Work

Pat Schneider Poem

2010-03-18T09:08:00.002-04:00

The Patience of Ordinary Things

"It is a kind of love, is it not?
How the cup holds the tea.
How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare
How the floor receives the bottom of shoes or toes.
How soles of feet know where they’re supposed to be
I’ve been thinking about the patience of ordinary things
How clothes wait respectfully in closets
And soap dries quietly in a dish
And towels drink the wet from the skin of the back
And the lovely repetition of stairs
And what is more generous than a window?"

Pat Schneider
From: Another River, New and Selected Poems

OCD

2010-02-23T21:32:00.003-05:00

A list of my compulsive behaviors:

-Making Lists (haha)
-Checking Facebook
-Checking my email
-Checking the weather (more than three times in a hour)
-Checking my plenty of fish account
-Going to NPR on my iphone
-unlocking my iphone to then only lock it back, repeat, repeat, and repeat.

Maybe I'll take a friend's advice and get a tv again, but then I'll just watch TV all the time.

A good book- here I come! Or perhaps more blog posts?

New York Love

2010-02-17T14:35:00.002-05:00

I met a man today, actually a customer at the coffee shop where I work who told me a great story.
He told me how he took his girlfriend to to Times Square to ring in the new year. The new year being 1960. It was of course crowded and a little scary for them to be in a big city, but they had such a great experience, that when they got married the next year they decided to do so in New York, as a way to pay homage to a city that brought them together.

It made me think that a great characteristic of a potential partner is how they can make you feel at ease in times of chaos and stress. I hope to find such a person and wish the same for all of you.

Muse?

2009-10-16T03:59:00.007-04:00

Have you ever wanted to write something but didn't really have anything to say? That is where I'm at right now. I could list a great number of things that I should be doing with my time right now, but how boring for you to read. I'll spare you. Instead I think I'll list some of the places that I'd like to visit in the next couple of years.

Portland, OR

Cartagena, Spain

Montpellier, France

Chicken by any other name

2009-08-07T07:49:00.004-04:00

Last night I sucsessfuly roasted my first whole chicken. Turned out well, but then I had to figure out how to cut it up. I don't think it was a textbook carving job but my friends Jean and Joe were able to have a good meal with me. The whole time I was preparing and roasting the chicken I was talking to it. (strange I know) I may have given it a complex though because I kept referring to it as a turkey.

We had the roast CHICKEN, corn, and potato wedges. Peaches a la Jean (served with toothpicks) for dessert. Check out the photos from the night:

Hot Kitchen

2009-08-06T16:00:00.005-04:00

I made a stew with crowder peas, okra, tomatoes, squash, zucchini. ground pork, and onions.

I've been having boiled eggs and either canteloupe (the sweetest one I've ever had) or a peach for breakfast.

I made dinner for my friend Katie last night. We had Port Cutlets with onion, tomato and okra saute and a side of roasted eggplant, carrot and onions. She brought over a cucumber and tomato salad from her very own garden! It was a great meal. I had the leftovers for lunch today.

Tonight I am going to cook chicken, roasted potato wedges and maybe some corn dish for my friends Jean and Joe. Photos to follow!

Unforseen Challenges

2009-08-03T21:15:00.009-04:00

I knew that eating only local food would be a challenge, but what I neglected to think about was all the other challenges that go along with it. (1) Menu Planning- I pretty much have never made a week-long menu before. Deciding what works well as leftovers, the whole cook once use twice rules etc. (2) Cooking every meal. This is huge! I've already cooked a meal at 9:30pm at night because I couldn't pick something up from a restaurant. (3) Wanting to eat the food you cook can be hard sometimes. It doesn't really allow for cravings or last minute food decisions. I also have had one occasion when I looked at my plate and ate a couple of bites and then put it in the fridge for lunch the next day because I was just so tried of looking at it. (4) I also am learning to cook some things for the very first time like eggplant, a whole chicken, and fresh crowder peas. (see picture below)
I promised some photos and not all this rambling so here we go:

I cooked some brats in a skillet and then used the drippings from cooking the brats and sauteed okra, tomatoes, onions, and squash. It was delicious. I've also made some ground pork, tomatoe and pimento cheese "sandwiches" minus the bread of course.

I plan to cook the whole chicken, make my own chicken stock to make veggie stew with, and make some Italian sausage/ground beef meatballs or meat filling for some bell peppers I have. I'm also planning on making a peach chutney to go with some thyme pork cutlets with roasted potato wedges.

More soon...

First Days of Locavore

2009-08-03T08:07:00.004-04:00

Here is a brief listing of the purchases I made Saturday. I'll have photos soon.

Eggplant
Squash
Zucchini
Corn
Potatoes
Onions
Peaches
Cantaloupe
Yellow Pepper
Red Pepper
Okra
Cucumber
Tomatoes

More Soon!

Native Meats

2009-07-30T16:16:00.004-04:00

I just pre-ordered the meat for my week of eating only local food. I purchased the meat from a local farm in Greer, Native Meats. They come to the Farmers' Market each week.

I purchased the following items:

1 Whole Chicken
Ground Pork
Ground Beef
Pork Cutlets
Italian Sausage
Bartwurst

I was hoping to get some eggs from them but they won't have any at the market. I hope to get them from another vendor on Saturday.

Locavore

2009-07-29T13:18:00.010-04:00

The coffee company were I work (Little River Roasting Company) has been setting up a stand at the local market (Hub-City Farmers' Market) for the past few Saturdays. Being around the farmers with all their fresh produce got me thinking about how food is grown, and how much we depend on farmers to weed, harvest, care for and labor over their crops, all so we can eat. I admit that I have been an uneducated shopper until the market. I knew that bananas weren't grown in South Carolina and that most of the produce I was buying at the local grocery store had traveled a good distance, but I never really thought about buying local produce and meat.

Now, thanks to the Farmers' Market I have been purchasing some local items to supplement my grocery shopping and while that works well, I was thinking the other day what it would be like if I restricted my weekly grocery shopping to the Saturday Market.

All that background information to lay down my week-long plan of attack:
This Saturday at the Market I will purchase all the items for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the week. I hope to be able to get meat, vegetables, fruit, and eggs. I have crafted a list of things to purchase with hopes that they will be available. After I collect my ingredients I will make a menu plan.

Here are the ground rules that I am giving myself for the project:

I can only purchase items at the Hub-City Farmers' Market this Saturday
I will only used the items I purchase to make myself breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the week.*
I will not go out to eat, or go to a friends house to eat during the week.
I will have friends over to eat with me.
I will drink only water, coffee, and RJ Rockers Beer for the week. A local brewery. (thanks for the suggestion Joe)
*I will use salt, pepper, and olive oil from my pantry, but nothing else.
I will keep a record of the meals I prepare and post the "recipes" here.

More after the market on Saturday!

Home Stretch

2009-07-28T12:52:00.004-04:00

Thought I would share what lies ahead for me in MY LAST SEMESTER in school.

Organizational Management and Behavior
Non-Profit Finance
Family Psychology
Ethics
Senior Seminar

Shells, sand, and friends

2009-07-09T18:56:00.011-04:00

July 4th I was so fortunate to be able to go down to the beach near Georgetown, SC in DeBordieu.
I spent time with my friend's family- it was much like a fantasy world of large beautiful homes and pristine, private beach front.

Here are some photos from my time there:

Drinking 1,000 Calories

2009-07-02T14:06:00.006-04:00

I went on a tour of three Asheville, NC Breweries this past weekend. The Brews Cruise was great, the friends were great, and the drinking was great. Probably around 1,000 calories great.
Pisgah Brewing, Asheville Pizza and Brew, and Highland Brewing. All had tasty beers, my favorites were Pisgah Brewing's Abbey, and Highland Gaelic Ale.

Here are some fermenting tanks at Highland Brewing

And an artsy beer bottle photo.

Q: Where have you been?

2009-06-29T20:51:00.010-04:00

A:
I thought it would be interesting to show you what has been keeping me away from blogging rather than merely telling you.

I have been interning with the new Spartanburg Charter School for about 5 weeks now and I'm really enjoying getting to meet people and get things ready for the big move into the renovated 1939 building (which should be this Wednesday). After we get settled in the school we will be busy getting ready for an open house and for registration days. It's all very exciting.

I have recently become involved in the planning stages of The Hub-City Co-op. It should open Feb-Mar. 2010. I'll be the volunteer coordinator for the Co-op, possibly work some hours there myself as well. Woo-hoo Co-op!

And of course, for the past 5 months or so the planning committee for Upstate Pride has kept me busy, although not as much as I wanted to help. It went off without a hitch on June 20, with approximately 560 marchers and 120 protesters. We have already begun talking about making next years' bigger and better.

Then there is that little thing called a job. I work for the best company in Spartanburg. Little River Roasting Co. If it was not for the company I would not be able to be as active in the community as I am now. Get some coffee from us by clicking here.

I'll hopefuly be back on a "regular" schedule again soon. Happy Tuesday!

Oh, here is the new me:

The view from here

2009-06-11T19:25:00.004-04:00

Afternoon Thunderstorms
Dexter
The Wooden Pinnacle
Fresh Coffee
Joey's Brand Black and White Cookies
Brass Tacks
Manilla File Folders
Pepperoni
Moss Green Stapler
Delta Creative Acrylic Paint- Metallic Gold

Made it back

2009-05-25T23:43:00.004-04:00

It is sometimes best to just jump back in. (JUMP)

I have applied to the Peace Corps. Have I said that? Well, some things fall into place tomorrow with all that. I hear whether or not I have been nominated. This just means that I go on to the next step of more in depth medical information, background checks, etc. After all that is approved then I can be put up for various jobs and then "invited". The invitation might not come for many many months though. If I get a position I will most likely have a departure date in April, May or June 2010.

Gervais thinks I'm going to Botswana
I think I am going to Ukraine or Lesotho.
Alix wants me to serve in Spartanburg. haha.

More when I find out tomorrow.

IceFrogTangle

2009-03-30T18:50:00.002-04:00

Send ME

2009-03-11T17:54:00.007-04:00

Perspective.
It turns my worries and cries into dust and chafe.
I am not a German student, worried about life/death in the classroom. Nor am I a student in Alabama wondering what made my classmate act in such disastrous ways.
My search for food does not involve treacherous travel or self depreciating acts, as in Zimbabwe. I simply go to a grocery store.

I listened to an NPR story the other day about aid workers. Instead of it being about their experiences abroad it was all about their experiences when they returned to their homes after helping others. I almost had to pull over to wipe tears from my face. Really. Most of the people interviewed expressed pain and confusion when faced with something as simple as ice.
The story was relevant to the times I'm in right now. I'm filling out an application for the Peace Corps. I have a deep, constant feeling that I am here to serve others, and I was scared to think about where I might be sent or what I would experience, but now I'm worried that the 2 years of service will go by too quickly and I won't be able to find myself when I return.

That darn white rabbit.

2009-03-10T09:22:00.003-04:00

I admit, I'm a sap. I love a romantic comedy. I also admit that I'm behind the times. That said, if you haven't seen Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, you've missed something great.

It is sarcastic, fun, and has (as you might expect) great music.

Two Fun things

2009-03-01T01:17:00.004-05:00

I saw "Coraline" tonight. I highly recommend it.

My friend Ginna told me about a project/website that is genius. People from all over the world take photos at 10:15am and send them to be posted. Every day there are interesting things to look at. My favorite thing about the website is that each day is sectioned off with the title "Brand New Day" and then the date. I like it.

Maybe I'll see a photo of yours on there soon.

Happy Sunday!

Was it a love lost, or was it just lost?

2009-02-06T23:16:00.004-05:00

I don’t want to confront my feelings from outside. I want to be mixed up in them when I think about them. In fact, I’m not sure that I can look at them from the outside, really. If I could do that it might be because I’m a mental case, and no one wants to be a mental case right?

Someone I know told me about her new philosophy on platonic relationships- she says they don’t exist. She says she isn’t interested in friendships anymore. She just wants “to fuck”. Another person put it eloquently as “she wants fuckships, not friendships”.

All of our relationships are doomed really whether we break up with someone or not. Life is doomed; and because life is doomed I have thought about love more often. Why not have love that is doomed than no love at all? If nothing in life is perfect, what is it that we search for love that is? Why do we care what people think about our love? Is it their business? Do we care what they think, really? Won’t we date and love with or without our friends or family’s blessings?

Of course we will. Love supposedly has the power to conquer all. It is this power that we have no control over. This is why we see people who are dating, married, etc. whom we think must be in love, truly. One of the two people are unattractive or unintelligent, something that makes them and unlikely couple. Aren’t these the most endearing, romantic couples?

I’m not sure what this means for relationships now. I suppose you have to like yourself enough to love and be loved. What of the people that really aren’t sure how to like themselves?

Mobile, Surreal, For Real, Alabama!

2009-02-02T23:15:00.004-05:00

I have been keeping a journal of my thoughts about my parent's story. I looked back over that tonight and saw that I'm questioning everything, and doing nothing about it. That said, I'm going to conduct a phone interview by the end of the week with my mom and ask the questions I'm afraid to ask and see how it goes.

I also found out a couple of days ago that my family is going on a trip to Mobile, AL and New Orleans, LA. This will be a great opportunity to get some more information.

On a side note, I have made it a goal that I will have people over to my apartment by the end of the month, which means I need to get my act together and straighten up and finally get everything set. Hmm, I'll need some chairs.

Prayers for Bobby

2009-01-30T17:13:00.005-05:00

Whoa. Cry fest. Prayers for Bobby (a Lifetime television event) was on the other night, and since I don't have T.V. I went on Itunes and downloaded it for something like $3.99. Well worth it.

Here is the trailer.

It was a hard movie to watch. The movie involves the true story of a close-nit christian family and their reactions to homosexuality. The mother in the movie (played by Sigourney Weaver) takes it incredibly hard and prays that her son "be cured" of his ailment. The stress and self-loathing that Bobby feels grows and eventually becomes too much to handle and he commits suicide.

The mother blames herself and feels that she did not listen to Bobby or show him compassion. She begins to question her beliefs and eventually decides to speak out about how churches treat homosexuals and how suicides by gay teens could be prevented.

What I would stress though, is that Bobby made his own decisions on suicide- I don't want it to seem like I believe his mother killed him.

I'm interested in what you think about it. Please comment.

Rawhide!

2009-01-20T17:17:00.004-05:00

The place where I work has music playing all day through a system called Muzac. Sp?
Today we listened to a country station and it made me think of cowboys. Thinking of cowboys made me think of the song that has the lyrics, "where have all the cowboys gone?". I think it's a Sheryl Crow song.

Thinking about cowboys and where they have gone made me think of the vast lands that are not developed in the mid western and western states. I want to go one of these states soon. I want to look around me and become frightened by the vastness, the peoplelessness and the perceived aloneness. I think that good things could come from it. Of course the aloneness would only be in my head because I'd want to go with someone.
Those are some of my thoughts from today.

Sometimes, socially, never.

2009-01-06T18:46:00.007-05:00

How pathetic is online dating? Perhaps not pathetic at all.

When one signs up to date online, is it because he has exhausted in person, because he is lazy, or is it because there really is just no one to meet in his city/area? I think in my case there just really isn't a place to meet guys. Sure, there are some bars in some other cities close by, but what if I don't like meeting people in bars? Do I have to suck it up and do it anyway? Perhaps.

That said, I set up a online profile (took around 1.5 hrs) that included all kinds of info about me and then tons of info about who I wanted to date. This took the longest amount of time. I kept thinking that by not choosing a type in a category I was weeding out Mr. Right without even knowing it. For example, the system asks about smoking. I chose "not at all" but could have also chosen "sometimes", "socially", "every day", etc. and the system lets you choose one or more of these. I really didn't want to date a guy who smokes, period. but I caved when I thought about missing out on "the guy".
Each category- race, body type, education, income, children, etc had multiple selections. On almost every category I selected them all. I'll weed the guys out when I can see their entire profiles. More to choose from that way.

I wonder who is missing out on seeing my profile because I said I never smoke, have an average body and like to go hiking?

Here lies 2008

2009-01-04T22:27:00.002-05:00

New year, new look. Change is good when you are in control of the change. I guess it can even be good when you aren't in control. Really, it can be good or bad whether you are in control or not. Hmm. However, change does not necessarily have to be good or bad. It must not be the change that is good or bad, but how we handle the change. No, some change is inherantly bad or good but it still is important to look at the change and work with it, up or down. Hmm.

I've done a little research into my parents past lives and have come up with a question. To be honest, questions:
Q#1: How much information do I need?
Q#2: What information do I need?
Q#3: How should I go about collecting the information? i.e. should I interview people? Should I write or call my parents first spouses?
Q#4: (The BIG QUESTION- that may help answer other questions) Why am I doing this project?

I think the answer to Q#4 will have to be answered as I go along.

I found some old photos, letters, and memorbilia from the past and even sat down with my mom and looked over some things, but that is for another post.

Home Remedy

2008-12-23T16:27:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow I travel home to Florida. I'll be doing my first line of interviewing with my mom (little does she know). I need to get a tape recorder of some kind so that when she starts telling tales, etc. I will be able to listen to them over again. I hope I get some time in to relax and enjoy as well.

Happy Holidays and I'll keep the updates coming on the research, etc.

Betty and Joe

2008-12-17T23:42:00.006-05:00

I don't know what it takes to write a book, and it might not even be something that I want to tackle. I thought about what I would want to write about, if I were to take on the challenge, and I think it needs to be something that I want to find out about. So, I decided to do some research into my parents lives before they met, when they met, etc. I came to this idea after I thought about the possibility that my memory of them would be forgotten, since I don't have brothers or sisters to help me remember things, and because I don't really have anyone to pass on the information to. I'm guessing it won't ever be published, or even finished for that matter, but if it helps me get to know my mom better and find out more about my dad, then it will be a success. It will take a lot of work to get the info. That will be my first step. Gathering information.

Here is a sample of what I came up with the other night:

I guess it started in Union, Alabama and Bloomfield, New Jersey. My parents, born Betty Katherine Stoudenmire, and Joseph Geier Jr., were together for 20 years. From my perspective it seemed to be far less than that for them. They loved each other and it was because of this love that I get to even write these words now. It would be selfish to believe that all things that happened in my parent’s lives led up to me, and of course that’s not what this is about. This is about the love they shared, and the things they left, and took.

We'll see how it goes from here...

I have a time-share I'd like to sell you.

2008-12-14T23:41:00.001-05:00

I love movies. I love escaping into them. I love becoming engrossed into the characters lives and situations. I love getting to leave them behind at then end of 2-3 hours and going back to them on my terms.

I’ve been in communication with an ex from home. He isn’t “home” and neither am I really but it feels like home to even be on his radar. It was a love. It still is a love. But I wonder how much of that love is fleeting, like the love I have for characters in movies. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be compared to movie characters, and really, unless it’s a great movie, who is like the people on the screen? But I’m getting away from the point I’m trying to make here. There is a point, I think.

I haven’t dated someone in years, getting close to 4 years now really, and I think for a lot of people that would be unsettling or heart breaking. Not me. I don’t really think about it too much, but lately I’ve wanted to “be with someone”. Sharing time with someone else is one of the most romantic ways I’ve heard someone put love. It really is love to share time with someone else. Both parties sacrifice their own time to be with that person. I’m not sure sacrifice is the best way of putting it, but you know what I mean.

I think I’m finally ready to share time with someone. No, I’m more than ready; I’m aching to share time with someone. I’ve wrestled with the thought of chalking up my recent feeling to being generally alone, but I’m not generally alone. I work in an environment where alone doesn’t happen, I attend school, and frequently go out at night. Alone isn’t my problem. My problem is the lack of another. Now, I can’t go out looking for another, I’ll drive everyone away with my talks of sharing time and not being alone. I’m going to have to simply make myself available for another. That’s going to be hard.

It wasn’t hard to be with my ex. He was a lot of what people look for in a mate. Caring, supportive, loving, available, and compassionate. I loved being his. The problem was that I wasn’t what a lot of people look for in a mate. I was selfish, sarcastic, cynical, distant, and inconsistently loving, a jerk really. Anyway, I’m learning to be less sarcastic, selfish, and have almost worked through the cynicism. I try to be present when I’m with other people, and will continue to learn how to love for the rest of my life I’m guessing.

Thanks for sharing some time, and keep sharing with others, loving others, and doing what you know is true and right.

I’ll try to do the same.

Escalades and Waterfalls

2008-10-03T18:43:00.003-04:00

Whoa, I've decided to break the silence. Has it been so long? Where has the time gone?
Anyway. Here I am.

I saw a woman driving an Escalade, smoking, and chatting away on a cell phone the other day and I got so mad for so many reasons. I pegged her as the reason that gas is hard to find these days in Spartanburg, I mean really- what does she need that huge car for? Does she have ten children? If she does, do they all have lung cancer from riding around in the smoke mobile? I admit, I honked my horn at her expressing my disappointment with her choices.

What is wrong with me?

The short answer is "a lot of things". One of those things is my stress level. It has been building and building for the past month and a couple of days ago it was like Mt. St. Helens all over Pine Street with that woman and her poor choices.
So, that said I am releiving some stress tomorrow by going on a hike with friends. We will hike 3 miles to Looking Glass falls, having lunch sometime in there, and then hike back down and come on home to Spartanburg.

I will do my best to capture the moment with my camera. Happy Weekend!

I am alive

2008-08-28T00:44:00.003-04:00

Yes, I'm still breathing. It has been too long, and I'm afraid this is entry will be short.
I'll be moving this weekend, and I hope when I get settled in that I will have some exciting things to say and some pictures to finally share.

The room mate is gone away and for a couple of days I was so busy that it wasn't really in my face, but now each day when I come home it feels strange and I feel a little sad. I know that my new place will have the strange feeling, but it won't be because something is missing, it will just be new. I'm thankful for that.

24 plates, 12 bowls, and 30 plus glasses too many

2008-07-28T16:14:00.006-04:00

In my continued effort to get rid of things that I don't need/use, I'm donating most of my dishes, silverware, and glassware to a local artist-in-residence group here in Spartanburg, SC. Hub-Culture is a non-profit group that consists of The Hub City Writer's Project, and Hub-Bub. Hub-Bub in itself is an artist in residence, a gallery, and a concert hall. It's basically the epicenter of all things culture in Spartanburg. Anyway, they have one of the longest, comprehensive residence programs in the nation. I'm so lucky to live in a city with so much going on. Please do check out their website, and if you are in the area do come by to a concert or see the gallery. You will be glad you did.

Craig and the Dollar Store

2008-07-21T20:43:00.002-04:00

Everyone already knows about craigslist.com, right? I have heard some horror stories about being swindled, but I have sold some stuff on there, and my roommate bought a piano! I hope that it becomes a great resource in my down-sizing. I have posted my luggage set that is almost like new because I have three additional pieces that are just fine- why do I need so much? If that does well I may sell some other stuff. I don't really have enough stuff to sell to warrant a yard sale, so this could turn out to be a great option. I will keep you updated.

I read online today that there is a couple who tried to only make purchases at their local Dollar Store for one month- they cheated quite a bit, and I'm not entirely sure if it has anything to do with what I'm doing, you be the judge. Check it out

Some exciting news, I've put a deposit on a new apartment and I will be living on my own again- more on the new place later.

Letting Go

2008-07-10T12:44:00.005-04:00

I gave up a large chunk of my wardrobe yesterday. I made piles of clothes to give away and then for the past week or so left them in my room and put off giving them away in fear of something- what I don't know- surely not nakedness I still have plenty of clothes. Perhaps I was scared of giving away something that I would want to wear in a month. This could still happen but now there is nothing I can do about that, and it kinda feels good. My load is getting lighter, and just in time for a move in September. My roomie is moving to California and I'm getting a one bedroom with not a lot of storage- which ironically is great. Who needs so much stuff? I'm becoming more and more anti stuff as this process goes on. The next thing I'm going to tackle is the kitchen, which is going to be hard because I love kitchen stuff. We will see how that goes.

In the meantime, I wanted to reccomend that if you decide to give away stuff, don't only think about the Salvation Army or Goodwill as places to donate. Of course they are great places to donate to, but I found that a small crisis center here in Spartanburg really needed some mens clothes so I decided to give to them instead of the normal GoodWill drop off. Check your local area's needs- maybe you'll find a place that you can really help.

Don't be afraid of the delete button

2008-07-01T21:38:00.005-04:00

In a continued effort to downsize, I cleaned out the most cluttered area of my life. My EMAIL. I'm one of those save every email "just in case" kind of people, and well, I have faced facts and come to understand that I don't need to save every email.
I deleted or archived all of my personal and professional emails today and it felt so good. Really, it was so nice to see a mailbox that wasn't full.
I recommend cleaning out your email soon.

I am going to give a large bag of clothes to Safe Homes here is Spartanburg tomorrow. I'll fill you in on their operation later.

Little Max

2008-06-19T15:22:00.005-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, my mom's dog, Max had surgery to repair a disc in his back. She sent me some photos of him post surgery and I thought I would share them. He is recovering remarkably well, and will only have to do a very little physical therapy to fully recover.
The staples you see have been removed now, and he is back to his mischievous ways.

It looks painful, but mom says he is acting completely normal, running around, chasing squirrels, etc.

Barrett the Bird Man

2008-06-18T10:13:00.007-04:00

This past Monday my roommate came up the stairs to our apartment and announced that he had almost ran over a baby bird on his bike. Naturally, I wanted to go check it out. We went outside and watched the bird for a while- it was screaming it's little head off and who we thought was the mother, was flying around frantically. Barrett looked up and around for a nest that this little fellow may have fallen out of, but none could be found. So, Barrett put on some gloves, got a box and after some wrangling, scooped up the bird and put him in the box. We called around for about 30 minutes to find out where we could take the bird and finally got someone on the phone that could help us. The woman we got on the phone was a volunteer with the Audubon Society and gave us some great tips that I will share with you now:1) Its usually best to get a baby bird connected back with it's mother
2) Fledgling birds often fall out of their nests when they start hopping around and try to fly for the first time
3) Feeding a baby bird anything to eat is never a good idea- some birds eat insects, some seed, the best food comes from the mother.
4) Many communities have a 24-hr. vet clinic and usually have contacts for wildlife refuges, clinics, and volunteer foster parents for birds, squirrels, etc.
5) In our case, we were told to put a hanging basket filled with tissue up in the tree where we thought the bird came from and put him in it. We were told that 9 times out of 10 the mother would come back and take care of it.

We did exactly what the woman told us to do- well, sort of. Barrett used his shoe laces and a fruit basket to rig a hanging basket. He put the bird in the basket, hung it up and then we went inside. I think around 2 hrs. went by and he checked the basket and the bird was gone and nowhere to be found, so the fate of our little friend is unknown, but we did the best we could.

I wanted to find out what kind of bird it was so I looked at many many baby bird pictures online and I beleive based on looks alone, that we were dealing with a baby Robin. It was great to see Barrett care so much for it, not that it was a suprise, because he is such a caring person in general.

Clothing for a family of four?

2008-06-17T11:20:00.006-04:00

Last night I started what I know now will be a long hard battle. Getting rid of stuff. I decided to tackle the biggest monster first- clothes. Who knew I was a such a clothes horse? I went through my clothing and came away with one large garbage bag full of t-shirts, shorts, and even a pair of shoes to give away to charity. I was still left with three drawers of clothes, 10 t-shirts, four pairs of jeans, and five collared shirts. That plus two hampers full of clothes that need to be washed.

After everything is clean, I have to decide how many t-shirts, pants, etc. I am going to keep. What is reasonable? Two pairs of jeans enough? I guess "enough" would be one pair, or none at all even. This is all very confusing...what I need and what I want are so blurred I can't decipher the two.

I will say that it feels good to have even downsized a little so far- getting rid of some clothes I never wear I found the chap stick I thought was lost and gone forever. I also made about $2 in all the change I found in various pockets. This is going to be a long processes but I think a rewarding one as well.

How about 100 items per room?

2008-06-12T11:27:00.005-04:00

I had my first stumbling block today in my effort to downsize. I almost purchased so kitchen gadgets, a new silverware set, and a thick cutting block. I'm so glad that I decided to downsize, because that is the only think that kept me from making those purchases.
While I'm talking about kitchen stuff, that makes me think- does downsizing to 100 personal items include things like plates, cups, pots and pans? To start out with, I think I'll focus on just things that I use, not things that my roommate and I both use.

This is going to be even harder than I thought.

Do I really need 7 pairs of jeans?

2008-06-11T23:38:00.004-04:00

So I read this article in Time, and I've been thinking about doing something like it, and have come up with some options.
1) count all the things that are in my posession to see what I'm dealing with and then downsize.
2) get rid of any article of clothing that I haven't worn in the past two months, minus "winter wear" and then go through other belongings that haven't been used in the past 6 months and get rid of them.
3) go through my belongings and keep 100 things, trash, give away, sell the rest.
4) get rid of everything except a weeks worth of clothes, all my books, and a shoe box full of things that mean something to me.

What I'd like to do is #4, but I think realistically I'll be doing something like #2 and #3. I'll keep you updated as it goes along. Whenever I move again it will be so much easier, and my room won't be overrun by stuff. Anyone want to take the journey with me?

Breaking news that isn't groundbreaking.

2008-05-27T16:57:00.004-04:00

I've been taking a Maymester course at the always lovely University of South Carolina- Upstate. I have enjoyed taking SOC 311 (Social Problems) and the professor., Dr. Neary. If you are an Upstate student take a class with her. Do it.

We have been discussing everything from poverty to education to homophobia. All social problems. We talked about the media for a bit today and how it related to our stress levels, and the stress levels of students in grade school. I looked at our local newspaper's website today: goupstate.com and also cnn.com and thought about the news and why it exists. I have come up with one theory so far. I think it has to do with a type of voyeuristic nature in all of us. I came to this conclusion when I asked myself, "what is the news for?". I really didn't come up with a good answer right away. I thought maybe the news could change people's mindsets, or tear down stereotypes. I realized that I was coming from a mind framed around doing good. I thought that it should do some good, everything should do some good. I was wrong. Sure, there are some parts of the news that help people. Almost every channel has a segment about how the reporter calls a company for someone who has gotten the run around on a rebate check, a bad car tune up or even outlandish water bills. Another way that news is helpful is if it shares information that can help others- for instance a segment on the importance of giving blood. However, the majority of the news I see and read has to do with violence or some other form of criminal activity. Why do I want to know about it? A mother runs over her baby in their families driveway. All that does is create sadness for the people who read about it, and adds pain to the family it happened to. It's not necessary. Are our lives so boring that we need to fill it with other people's pain? To have something to talk about at work during those off moments?

If there is something that can be learned from a news story than I am all for it, but if its just for shock value, I'm done with it. I feel for people who have lost and I can share grief with those who have been displaced by war, famine, or catastrophic weather events, but don't rub our faces in it, soon we will all become desensitized and not care what is news. Wait, it may have already happened.

7 things to say

2008-05-14T10:57:00.003-04:00

I had some quick thoughts I wanted to share.

1- I don't want things to change around me but change is inevitable.
2- I enjoy being liked so much that it is hard for me to know if I like someone back or not.
3- I am 27 today, but feel 21
4- I have lived in South Carolina for 5 years.
5- I have both high hopes and debilitating anxiety.
6- Nothing is as bad as I make it out to be.
7- Kindness still exists and friends are present.

Thats all for now.

WAKA

2008-04-14T23:39:00.005-04:00

Stands for World Adult Kickball Association. I kid you not. Barrett and I joined a team in Spartanburg in the SC Crossroads division. We are on a team called "Club Foot" and our color is burnt/rust/Texas orange. Here is most of our team:

We played our first real game yesterday and WON! Barrett and I had played the previous weekend with the team but it wasn't "regular season". I wasn't able to get on base for the practice games but was able to yesterday. It was a small victory but felt huge. No, really. It was a pristine day to be outside.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rewind to last Friday and the Bodies of Knowledge Symposium. It was a great success. I would estimate that we had 85 people coming and going at the event. The Dean of the College of Arts and Sciences was there and made a speech, as was the Spartanburg PFLAG founder. I really enjoyed/connected with Dr. Bernadette Barton's work on The Toxic Closet: Being Gay in the Bible Belt. Another great speaker was Helen Boyd. Find out her story in a previous blog of mine.

It was a great weekend, and now I have to finish up the novel class- one paper, a final project, and an exam to go. Let the writing begin! (tomorrow)

Thats not funny

2008-04-09T18:40:00.005-04:00

I've been thinking about talking about the recent murders in the GLBTQ community. I wasn't sure how and where to approach it from. I have read some articles on the deaths on cnn.com, hrc.org, etc. The thing that I have noticed is that most of the articles don't really focus on the "bigger picture". While many people are talking about hate crime legislation, I think the thing that is being left out is the upbringing of our children, especially in which the way we talk, joke, and live.

There are plenty of times when a racist, sexists or homophobic joke has been told and I've laughed or snickered. What I could/should have done was not laugh, say that it wasn't funny, or even walk away. I think that if we did this, it would be a slow start to changing how people think or talk about the people around them. Speaking of being around other people, I see that as another problem. If we are always around the same people and taught that there are "other people" or even that there are good people and bad people.

If you're like me and see the news and ask what can I do to help but always come away feeling powerless, think about the way you have conversations with people during breaks at work, or examine the places you shop or where you go to eat, or who you spend your time with. Are you teaching your children the importance of diversity? I think that it all starts there.

Valuable resources:
www.hrc.org
www.stopthehate.org
www.tolerance.org
www.rememberinglawrence.org

GenDAR: finding men, women, more

2008-03-21T23:05:00.005-04:00

I am an out member of the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transexual, queer (GLBTQ) community. I don't just make scones and write about decor. In regard to this community I thought in my head, "if I ever question people's desires or feelings I would be 'the pot calling the kettle black'". No questions really had ever come up though... until I started reading Helen Boyd's She's Not the Man I Married. This is a true account of two people in love, both going through gender-bending/redefining evolutions. You should look into it more here.

As I read the book I would wonder what it would be like to have the feeling that I was in fact not a male, but a female trapped in a male's body. I tried to imagine it but it never came. I know what it feels like to think my sexual attractions are wrong, but I've always been pretty comfortable with my maleness. I have wondered how much of someone's gender is innate and how much of it is learned or forced on by others, a past blog has some insight about that.

At any rate, I'm very excited about learning more about gender and hearing from Helen Boyd at a conference called "Bodies of Knowledge", held at the University of South Carolina-Upstate on April 11th.
If you happen to be in the Upstate of South Carolina or surrounding areas please do consider going, and everyone should at least read some excerpts from Helen Boyd's books.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something green?

2008-03-20T17:16:00.007-04:00

I went on my third annual trip to Savannah for St. Patrick Day's Hoop-la. There were two blackouts that night. One was caused by the storm, the other by a horrible drinking game.

Here are some photos from three St. Pattys.

I love Silpat

2008-03-09T12:14:00.005-04:00

In an effort to make myself do more things that I know I will enjoy once I get my lazy ass in gear, I made chocolate chip scones thanks to some inspiration by one of my new favorite places on the web. It also gave me a chance to use a sil-pat pan liner I got for Christmas (Thanks Ma).
Check out the recipe and the super fun website I used here.

It was a very easy recipe to follow. My only note would be to use about a quarter cup more flour then it calls for because the recipe leaves the dough a tad too wet for my liking. You be the judge. I also see many other ways to use this recipe by simply changing the choc. chips to dried cherries, or lemon juice and poppy seeds. One might be even crazy enough to throw in rosemary , Havarti, and ham to make a "savory scone".

I took a picture for your pleasure:Make these scones. If you're like me then a scone, a crossword puzzle and a cup of coffee is heaven. Just don't burn yourself using an old t-shirt in place of pot holders...not that it happened to me.

Abode

2008-03-08T18:14:00.007-05:00

Here are some more picture from the new place.

I wanted to build my own bookshelf, but when I went to the Salvation Army last week I found one that would fit perfectly in my new room. I had to sand it and paint it but I think it turned out pretty well. I also got some curtains, plain, but they keep out the sun. If you look closely you will see two plants. No names yet, but I like taking care of them so far. It's nice having something to take care of.

My bed is flanked by my dressers that double as night stands. I also have a little reading area.

Old family Photos and some junk on the dressers and in the reading area a poster from an arts festival in Tampa. Ah, memories.

You should see it in 3-D.

2008-02-18T18:02:00.016-05:00

As promised, here are some shots of the new place:

And if that wasn't exciting enough for you:

My room isn't photo ready and Barrett's room is his to share if he wants.
The bathroom is small, but newly remodeled.
It is a great shower, no nasty mildew window)

Oh why not, two more-

Barrett cutting the chicken for our first "meal" at Spring Street.
It looks better than it tasted.

Lesson #1 about our new life- Don't buy bone-in chicken from Save-a-Lot.

Ketchup

2008-02-15T12:57:00.004-05:00

Whoa. I have neglected the blog in a bad way. Sorry if you have been checking and waiting for another entry. I'll try and make it up to you.

Since my last blog I have moved into the new pad on Spring Street. Woo-hoo! I really liked it when we decided to rent it and so far I'm liking it more and more. I think it fits my personality better than Woodland did. It has a great layout. There is any easy flow between spaces here, unlike "the corridor" that was Woodland Street.
I would say that the only downside to Spring Street is the kitchen. I'll post some pictures of Barrett trying to use the kitchen when we made our first "meal" the other night.
Gio and Bailey are in love with the place. As much as dogs can love that is. They have their own little fenced in yard that they hang out in while Barrett and I are at work, and when Barrett gets home they peer up over the fence and get very excited that their owner/friend is home. I don't like to admit it, but its cute.

I was going to write a Valentine's Day blog full of gender-bending quips and wallow in my own unvalentine's feelings but feeling bad wasn't on my list yesterday. I wasn't going to let it get me down- so I didn't.
Barrett's family is coming down at the end of this month and my mom is paying a visit in April. Hopefully the visits will inspire some art work hanging and some "putting things together" times.
I'll do a photo blog possibly this afternoon, and if I feel very adventerous a video blog this weekend (for H.H.)

Excuse me but...

2008-01-28T17:40:00.001-05:00

What does William Defoe, Chelsea Clinton, and The Postal Service have in common? Little or nothing really, but it sounds funny to list them as if they were all part of some chain of events or story.
The only thing they really have in common is that I've been thinking about them all lately.
I've been trying on new English terms like penned and unreliable narrator more to get used to them, but so far they don't really fit into my vocab wardrobe. For instance someone might say that William Defoe "penned" Robinson Crusoe where as I would like to put it Bill D. wrote it.
This English class has been many things to me so far. I've found some people that are more intelligent than I am. A wonder at USC Upstate. That sounds cocky, but it really isn't. Most people I've met at Upstate aren't very bright. I've learned to be humble as well. I'm not the smartest in my class, in my row, or even than any other person in the class. I'm in a room full of English majors. Experienced in the wiles of analyzing literature on a higher level. I think I fall under the "book club" level of analysis and criticism. I'll let you know after the first paper.
The only "ah ha" I've really had in class was today when Dr. W. made a reference to The Postal Service and I was able to chime in. Thank you P.S.

I sat around with Chelsea Clinton last Friday. She almost convinced me to vote for her mother but nothing really stood out that made me switch from Senator Obama. I will say that Chelsea is good looking in person, she needed some chap stick and a nap, but when you are meeting and greeting for your mama, tiredness and neglected lips happen. If you see her on the side of the street pay her attention, I mean the poor girl has Bill and Hillary for parents.

Appreciate people

2008-01-20T00:04:00.001-05:00

Xury didn't die. Rob sold him.
That is ironic- you'll see why by the end of this blog. I hope.

I've always thought a lot about things. I think I can attribute that to many things. Allow me to speak on two. Number one, I am an only child. When I tell people that they tend to understand right away. I hear, "well that makes sense" or, "I could have guessed that". I think it has something to do with my selfishness but I also think that it has something to do with my independence/stubborness as well. I've always had my own mind about things, and those that challenged my way of thinking needed to be squashed like a bug with my cruel tongue, or ignored and labeled as radioactive material or as a bag of horse shit. I can tell that thinking things over and over again is partly due to my "only childness".
The second thing that I feel makes me an over thinker is my dear mother. I think I've heard her say exactly what she means six times. I can remember those times because they allowed me to understand how she felt right away and didn't involve me looking into things, asking questions, and coming up with my own conclusions. It was nice. For the other times though, I think those trained me to hear one thing from people and to believe another.

What I wanted to write about tonight was how people enter and leave our lives so frequently, sometimes to great sorrow and some not soon enough, which is how Xury and Robinson Crusoe were. In and out of each others lives. Call me a sentimental wah-wah, but because of my darn thinking, I have come up with a conclusion about people in our lives. They are precious. Your third grade teacher, the gas station attendant who looks you in the eye and says have a great day and means it, your best friend in elementary school who you have no idea where he is now, your first crush, those people who have hurt you and made you cry until tears wouldn't come, and those who made you laugh with joy until tears were in your eyes. There are countless people in our lives and they make a difference in who we are and how we think. I don't think we really give a damn for people who are starving on the street until we meet someone who is starving. Now, I'm not saying that the person who flicked you off the other day because you pulled in front of them in traffic will alter your life, or that the man at the groccery store who lets you go ahead of him because you only have three items will melt your heart enough to give money to the Alzheimers Association, but don't dismiss encounters as just encounters. People are brought into our lives for a reason, and vice-versa.

All this so I could tell you to appreciate people. Funny how something so simple to say turns into a rant at 12:30am. If I am to do anything with my life, taking chances with my heart has to be a part of that. Will you open yours?

Xury is going to die soon.

2008-01-14T22:18:00.001-05:00

Two blogs in one night. I know what you're thinking: "he must be bored". Maybe a little.
I had my first day of class this morning. Synopsis: OH CRAP. Haha.
I was only able to keep one class this semester. Times are tough but I feel pretty secure. I think it is a "deer in the headlights" kind of secure. Eh, time will tell.

So the one class I'm taking satisfies an ethnic/diversity credit I need. (These phantom credits keep popping up in advisement sessions). It is a high level English course. I could have taken another history class but I couldn't do that to myself again. I find it very boring, or have been taught the subject by boring teachers. Anyway, this class is on The Development of the Novel. Right off the bat it sounds like a lot of reading. I was prepared for that. I already knew that it involved 8 novels- heck, I like to read, so why not?

Well...(deep subject I know)
The syllabus we received in class today was daunting. There will be a lot of work involved.
Call it divine intervention or a "lesson to be learned" that I can only take one class, either way here goes.

This is my reading list for the semester.

Daniel Defoe, Robinson Crusoe and J. M. Coetzee, Foe: A Novel
Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre and Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea
Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary and Julian Barnes, Flaubert’s Parrot
Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway and Michael Cunningham, The Hours

If you have any insight about any of these works in general, do tell.

First up- Mr. Crusoe.
On page 28. So far I like young Xury: Crusoe's "ship" mate.
Don't spoil it for me, but I think lil' Xury is soon to be toast.

Good thing my magazine subscriptions are up- no time to read by choice.

*Small warning- I'm going to be talking about this until May.*
Sorry.

Che Buonanotte!

2008-01-14T21:56:00.001-05:00

Last night my roomie and friend, Heir Spiegel cooked a meal that needs to be shared. It was chicken bolognese over penne. It was delicious! It starts with onion, garlic, carrots, and celery- already the house smelled like a home. Add in browned ground chicken breast, thyme and parsley, deglaze the pan with white wine and simmer with some tomato sauce and say "Salve" to Italia.

Click here for the recipe.

We had only one criticism of the recipe. Use more thyme than it calls for. We also cut the simmer time a little short and I think it would have been even better if it had been allowed more time to blend all the flavors together.

It makes four good size servings.

Bon Appetit!

Un homme et une femme

2008-01-07T21:35:00.001-05:00

Gender is strange. I'll just go ahead and say that first. At least gender roles sure are. I was thinking of this because I received my final copy of Men's Journal today. I also subscribed to GQ, OUT, Time, and US News and World Report for a year. To be honest I read the Time, looked at the editorial in US News, skimmed the GQ for fashion tips that I didn't use and read OUT cover to cover. All of these magazines have men in them. Lots of men really as the all cater to men. When I saw that today's copy of Men's Jounral was my last I found myself asking why I even subscribed to it. Then I looked at my coffee table. All those magazine titles where sitting around- all telling me something about men.
I don't think the fascination is due to my sexual orientation, but rather the hunt to find what a real man is. I've had some direct examples in my life, but very rarely have been referred to as "a man". I know I'm not a woman and therefore a man, but it took me a while to know that the oil needed changing in my car (that a little light wouldn't come on to tell me) or that hammers, screwdrivers, drills and saws were fun things. The jury is still out about the amusement level of these tools.
What became painfully clear only moments ago is that there was no big brother, no uncle, no older guy friends to put a tool in my hand or a guard on my shin. My dad took me camping, played basketball, signed me up for t-ball, etc. but it was never thrust on me as being vital.

I'm thankful for that and wonder that if more kids didn't have gender based norms thrown at them left and right growing up how much harder it would be to peg things as girly or masculine. Wouldn't that be much more interesting?
So in my search for what a real man is...I've decided there is no such thing.

If you think raising a child in the manner my parents chose had something to do with who I am today you're right, if you think that includes my sexuality you're not alone in being wrong.

Pull up the shallow roots again.

2008-01-06T18:36:00.001-05:00

New year, new blog look. I'm not thrilled with it, but maybe it will grow on me.
I'm saying goodbye to 554 Woodland Street in less than a month. Changes all around. I'm still flying solo until my roommate returns on Tuesday night. I don't miss the dogs yet but I do miss my roommate's company. While it is nice being alone, I think not alone is better in the end. If I had to choose between a lifetime of alone or a lifetime of with, I think with would win.
It's hard to cook for one, and while its easy to pick a channel on the tv or what to eat, you don't get to laugh with someone about the tv or argue about food options.

And then there is school-
One more week before classes. Here I go again.

House of the SETTING Sun.

2008-01-02T17:46:00.001-05:00

I've really missed blogging. The whole time I was home in Tampa I wanted to blog about all the funny family type things that went on, unfortunately my family kinda lives in the stone age when it comes to computers. Guess those moments will go undocumented. eh.

I have some photos from New Years Eve and New Years Day to upload on my computer- so I might share a few here soon.

On Feb. 1 when my lease runs out on my apartment I'll need new housing and I haven't found anything yet. Granted I haven't looked very hard either, but hey, it was the Holidays. Starting tonight its time to search on the internet for something. Maybe Government Assisted Housing or I could be someone's cabana boy, but I guess cabana boys are more likely to be hired when its warm outside. Crap! haha. I could do the Craigs' List "looking for a roommate/room" thing like Amber suggested, but it sounds shady. However, if it comes to that then maybe I'll give it a whirl.

Let the excitement begin!

Must be a clean chicken

2007-12-22T22:49:00.002-05:00

The house is eerily empty tonight. Barrett has gone home for Christmas and Gio and Bailey are at the dog motel. It's left me with a lot of time just to think about everything. A friend of mine told me that all I do is think and never really act. I don't take criticism very well, and it kind of made me angry until I realized that I was thinking about how I felt. hahaha. Funny how I was shown the truth.

Anyway, back to me over-thinking things. I have been thinking about Christmas and what it is and what it means, and where it lives, etc. I've also been thinking about why it goes away and comes back again on a yearly basis. Why do we have a box labeled "Xmas stuff" in the attic/basement? If we don't put out a nativity scene, twinkle lights, a tree and some stockings are we atheists? On the flip side, if we leave out the nativity scene all year are we lazy or just thankful for Jesus? After a long debate with myself I've come up with no real answers.
What I've come up with is more questions of course, but also a basic statement that I hope I can remember when questions come up: "stop worrying and go outside". I did that today and saw a lot! I watched a man clean his tires at the top of our hilly street and waited for the water to trail down all the way until it reached my feet, I saw a couple drive up to a house across the street and watched them get the courage to finally go in. There were tiny raindrops on my car and the air smelled like fabric softener and fried chicken. It was amazing. Outside there are a lot of things. Water, bravery, and clean chicken smells. I highly recommend loosing yourself outside- get some things in your head that allow your brain to take a break.

Mas Menos Christ

2007-12-16T22:34:00.003-05:00

I wonder how a stranger would picture me based on my blog. It is something that I don't think about too much but I was wondering if other bloggers out there have thought that. Well?

As far as my last post about heroes I would like to come back to that some other time if at all. What is on my mind right now is Christmas, and how for the first time I don't really have the Christmas Cheer inside me. I don't really want to go out and buy gifts for people or wrap things up in cute little packages and sip hot chocolate and sing carols with the family.
Before you label me a grinch or a scrooge hear me out.

While the "retailization of Christmas" has played a part in my feelings I do not want to peg it all on the malls, wal-mart, etc. They are only acting in a way in which they know we will react. If they put out twinkle lights, candy canes, lotion baskets, golf-tee and money clips gifts in October then people will buy them. Why? Who wants that crap anyway. Sorry if you bought that stuff, you can still return it Christmas is a week away, plenty of time.
It doesn't help that I'm poor either. Maybe if I had more money I would like Christmas more. Nah, it still runs our lives too much for me to get all behind it. How so you might ask? Stress to get the right gift, stress on pleasing people in your lives by giving enough time here and there, sitting through another meal with family right after you just did it a month ago...etc.

What about Jesus? What does He have to say about Christmas? Would he be throwing tables of fruitcakes and popcorn tins out on the street saying, "What the hell are you guys doing?". Not likely, although I would like to see it. I think Jesus would say something like this, "Its just my birthday guys, and really my birthday isn't in December, but hey, thanks for sending all those cards with sweet sentiments that you didn't write. Way to do some recruiting though!" No, another jest, but for weeks now I go to bed wondering "what Christmas is all about" and I guess if it means that you get together with your family, give more to charities than normal, and think about how fortunate we all are thanks to a little babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in some hay, then I'll suck it up and smile when I open my yearly gift of socks and underwear and say, "thank you for these cotton undergarments, OH! and also for eternal life".

Heroes

2007-12-05T20:22:00.001-05:00

Here are some quotes from some people I admire. I admire them for different reasons, you'll see.

"I have learned to live each day as it comes, and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us."
Dorothy Day
-May I reccommend, "The Long Loneliness" by Day, Dorothy. This idea has been quoted many times, but never so vividly with a phrase like, "dark menace". That really captures the feeling I've experienced in the past.

"...of songwriters who sing in their own voice, Spektor says, 'It's almost like putting a ball and chain around your foot and being sentenced to being yourself. Who the hell wants to be themselves all the time? It's so boring.'"
National Public Radio, "Stories in Song Regnia Spektor
-To be honest, I didn't know about this quote but I hoped she would say something like this. This quote is meaningful to me for obvious reasons.

"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing."
C.S. Lewis
-I had to include my man Lewis. This man is intelligent, a speaker of truth and love...He speaks from an "I've experienced that" perspective. I like that.

So, more heroes tomorrow maybe.
Who are your heroes?

Please more love than truth...just for today...no? Ok, well at least truth then love.

2007-11-27T00:18:00.001-05:00

So many things have happened since my last post. Thanksgiving in Florida, crazy 4AM shopping, light bulbs, Christmas trees, guinea pig cages, etc. Let your imagination take you where it will.

Lessons since my last post.
1) Irony is only funny when it happens to someone else. (Speeding ticket after "speeding can wreck your day" photo on my last post).
2) Just because your family loves you doesn't mean they will treat you with kid gloves. (apparently 26 going on 27 is the age when everything is fair game for conversation).
3) Never underestimate the power of your ability to change a light bulb. (Height is everything...in this case)
4) Instead of taking lots of pictures- live like your getting your picture taken. (I found myself seeing lots of kodak moments but instead of capturing them I watched them)
5) What your parents tell you about life lessons they have learned are true. (its hard as hell to admit, but it is what it is)

If you know me then this statement is pretty earth shattering- I could use a hug right now, and a pat on the back. I think it would get me "back in the game". This however is not a solicitation for hugs, I just have never really wanted one. Guess I'm getting over my self-loathing phase, sweet.

To Embark

2007-11-20T23:58:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow I will drive around 81/2 hours to the lovely city of Tampa in the great state of Florida. I will hug and kiss many people (that sounds weird), eat tons of food, go shopping at insane hours, do a wide variety of chores like changing light bulbs, play with Sassy and Max, and then drive 81/2 hours back to Sparkle City.

I don't know if you can read it but the words on the bottom read, "Speeding can wreck your day". I love it. Sunshine state here I come!

Cleaning out some life.

2007-11-19T18:45:00.001-05:00

I will be driving home for Thanksgiving and my car was a total mess. I had to clean it out but I hate cleaning out my car, I don't know why. Lazy I guess. I found some interesting stuff while cleaning it out though and I want to share the stuff with you. I found an Ale 8 soda bottle (A Late One) and a list that my driving companion kept of all the license plates we saw on the road. These are both items from my Kentucky Trip. As you can see from my day planner that trip was the end of September and the first week of October. This is just a backdrop for the photo- I didn't find my planner in the car although that could very well have happened.

Speaking of finding things, when I uploaded the pics of my found objects from the car I also found a picture of Bailey that I took wearing some sweet shades about a week ago.

Gio was not interested in wearing them.

It sure feels good to have my car cleaned, I had the exhaust pipe reattached as well so now it doesn't sound like I'm driving around on a lawn mower- I hope it makes it to Tampa. I'm gonna try and post some from home but Betty (mi madre) doesn't have the internet. I hope to steal some wireless from someone or go to a cafe or something. I dunno.

Get clean- it feels good.

If I don't write it later- HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Oh, no!

2007-11-15T17:53:00.001-05:00

I've had many bad phone calls within the last 8 years or so, and tonight when I got out of the shower I saw that my cousin had called three times. Normally, if she calls she will leave a message or she will call once. Three calls in a row freaked me out and I made up all kinds of horrible things that may have happened. I gathered myself back together and called her back. The three rings before she answered were like little punches in my stomach that stung deep inside. She answered and fortunately told me about some flight deals to Tampa. PHEW!

Now my mom and I have a deal at least- she never calls a work phone number unless it is an emergency. The same for me. Home phones are great for messages or normal calls. Calling over and over again in a row with no message is strictly prohibited.

So, tonight a crisis was not present and I am so thankful.

Using what you have

2007-11-13T09:26:00.001-05:00

The other night I made a pasta dish and it turned out pretty good. I tried to remember what I did as best I can so that I can do it again and so that you might give it a whirl. It all started with these two veggies here:

Ingredients
Bow tie Pasta
Laura Lynn Sweet Onion and Garlic Tomato Sauce (I get only the best haha)
1 Small Zucchini
1 Small Yellow Squash
1 Small Onion
2 Cloves Garlic
1 Can Peas
1 Palmfull of italian seasoning or oregano, basil.
Salt and Pepper to your liking
Olive Oil- enough to coat your skillet (skillet is a fun word)

1) Boil your water (as opposed to my water) for the pasta- the box it came in says how much water.
2) While water is coming to a boil, chop up your veggies and garlic. Bite size pieces are good.
3) Heat a skillet and add some olive oil, onions, and garlic. When the onions get soft and kinda clear add the zucchini and squash and cook those until they are tender.
4) Whenever that water is boiling add salt to the water and dump in the bow tie pasta.
When your veggies are tender pour in about half of the tomato sauce right into the skillet. Save the rest for another meal.
5) When pasta is done cooking, eh, around 10-12 minutes drain it.
6) Now to assemble: I added the peas to the hot pasta and then spooned the sauce from the skillet right on top.

The peas were strange at first but by the third bite I was hooked.

No picture of the finished product- I thought about posting this after it was all gone.

People Waiting

2007-11-12T17:24:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I'm about to romanticize the airport. Get ready- it might be sappy.So I've done my fair share (and more) of waiting in the airport. I've been stuck in Atlanta for ages and waited for people at airports many many times. I thought about it recently as I waited for my roomie Barrett to fly into the Greenville-Spartanburg International Airport. This "international airport" has two concourses: A and B. I think something like 8 airlines service the airport. Long story short it's very small but has a big name.

Anyway, I was waiting for him and when I wasn't talking on the phone with a friend, thanks Holland and Amber, I noticed the people waiting. They all stood or sat around the tvs that show arrival times. This airport even had the screen with the US map and little planes flying closer and closer to the dot labeled GSP: the airport that we all waited in.
I watched the people read magazines, books, do stuff on their laptops and I noticed that almost like clockwork they would glance up at the screens every 2-3 minutes. Updated information I think was posted every 5-10 minutes. I couldn't help but think how fun it would be to be in charge of the little planes on the screen and make them do crazy loops while their loved ones grabbed their hearts in panic and gasped for air until I made their course right again. (This is what you do in the airport while you wait).
I tried to guess by peoples faces how long it had been since they had last seen the person they were waiting for. I'm pretty sure some of the people had seen their arriving friends/family not so long ago (it was like they were waiting in line for free pens and pencils: no emotion) others were nervous looking- I liked this the best. I made up stories of long lost loves and moms and dads in Iraq being reunited with children, crying and having teddybears with gi-joe outfits and yellow ribbons. Wow, I get teary just making it up.

What I liked most about the airport is that everyone around me was there for the same reason. We were waiting. Waiting on people. People we must like I assumed. Who waits for people they don't like? It made me feel good that those getting off the plane were about to embrace people that waited for them. Thats nice, huh? Next time I get off a plane and people are waiting I'm gonna hug them hard, and try not to cry and thank them for waiting.

Feeling loved is hard to beat, and the airport with it's bad carpeting colors, expensive gum and magazines brought me something great.

Listen

2007-11-12T16:47:00.001-05:00

So, for the past few weeks I've been noticing more and more people saying things that could be considered racism, ageism, sexism, etc. Most of the things that I've heard have been benign in nature; they weren't meant to be hateful. However they are still hurtful. I've said some things myself and including things like, "those people" or "thats how they are". Unfair statements based on prejudice or stereotypes.

I think it has a lot to do with people not being told that what they say sounds like an "ism". I don't want to be a watch dog for statements made about groups of people, but I would like for others to repeat things that I say back to me so that I can learn from it.

Let people know that their jokes about any group of people aren't funny or that the things they say make them sound unintelligent. ( somehow in a friendly way)

Why treat each other as groups of people? Or categorize people?
Being an individual is good and makes us attractive.
Who doesn't want to be attractive?

Some new stuff

2007-11-06T18:02:00.002-05:00

I changed some stuff including my profile and some list stuff over to the right.

I talked with my pal Amber last night about poetry and today I looked at lots of poems thinking about what poem I might like to memorize. She came up with the idea to memorize poetry: her co-workers are doing it too.
I have to admit that I don't understand a lot of the poems I read today. I'm still looking for one to recite- Library on Thursday. Looking will be fun...I hope.

Mission Accomplished

2007-11-04T19:41:00.002-05:00

It has been a while since I have accomplished a to do list. Allow me to submit this report and you can decide if I met all the points on my to do list. I took a shower and stood there for a while just enjoying the warm water- a luxury that I don't often get because I'm usually running around five minutes late for work and jumping in the shower. I washed two loads of laundry today, one being my sheets and pillow cases which helped me knock out a part of cleaning my room. My rooms not perfect, but I can see most of the floor and a lot of dresser tops now plus with new clean sheets and a made bed it looks good.

I made it to Asheville and saw Sarah and her sweet boyfriend, Jude along with many other mountain people. Gosh, I love Asheville and their rugged, scruffy, patchouli people. Care free and pleasant. I could stand it for a couple of years I'm guessing.
This is what patchouli looks like:

While I was in Asheville we went to a great place called Barley's- lots of different local brews to choose from, darts, Foosball, and billiards. This is their logo. Exciting, huh?
I got to eat a bite of a venison/beef burger, so I guess that meets the exotic food task.

Parting picture-
Some peeps playing foosball...

Monday is mere hours away. Grrr.

Ghouls and Grace

2007-11-03T14:34:00.001-04:00

We had many children dressed up as sweet princesses, witches, spidermen, and vampires come knock on our door last Wednesday. Like this one:As the night when on of course the children got older and older because of hour and darkness, but what else started was that we got many people not dressed up. I think this exact group of people came over for candy:Grown people not even saying trick or treat, just coming by with a garbage bag looking for their fix.

Fast forward to the end of the week and today. I have been trying to find the use for this little handmade book. I'll take a picture and show you- it would be easier than describing it.
Ok, so I'm going to use this book as a "journal" for the things I see during my day-to-day life that remind me of God's grace. What will remind me of God's grace? Thanks for asking. The first entry is going to be just a couple of words- "support all around". It's true, I don't deserve all the support that God has put around me. It's amazing. I know that I might stretch the true meaning of grace from time to time when I notice something that makes me feel good, but it's my little book, so back off. LOL.

Switching gears again...What I hope to do today:
1)Eat something exotic
2)Clean My Room (this is a goal every weekend that is hard to accomplish)
3)Take a shower and not a "I have to hurry up and get done showering", a "I have all the time in the world shower."
4)Laundry (I hate it)
5)Drive to the Asheville, NC area to see sister Sarah. I'll leave you with a photo of sister Sarah.

She'll love that it's been posted.
Happy weekending!

Cross traffic does not stop

2007-10-29T18:09:00.001-04:00

Life doesn't come with warning signs.

Life was presented to me as an enjoyable ride

like this one.

When really it should have been presented like this:
my favorite is the last point.

Enjoying the ride has been hard lately. I'm not sure if I'm on the right ride, if I used too many of my ride tickets to get on, or whether or not I should ride the bumper cars or throw darts at balloons (do they dull the tips or what?) . I was ready to write a poor pathetic me blog but then looked out my window and saw the end of a beautiful day- sunny, crisp, happy even. I saw two pit bulls with their enthusiastic owner and understood why the three of them love each other so much. They played together and ran around in the neighbors yard (all three) and it made me laugh and then I smiled for a good 2-3 minutes. Thank God for times like that!
I think He (God- hence the capital "H") answers my prayers in some crazy ways- and today he answered my prayer of "you promised I'd never have more than I could take" with "look here buddy- things aren't as bad as you think they are, and hey- it's not the Joey show". True True True pocket.

This sign says it all- what everyone should do.
Like it?

Emo

2007-10-23T17:55:00.001-04:00

Rehashing my life on this blog has become severe and tiring, but not to worry, I'm not going to stop. It's just lately I've been thinking about so many things that I really need a rest, and while this isn't very time consuming, it does take some mental capacity to write and lately I've been using that capacity for my life on a moment-to-moment basis, so it's pretty drained. I'll come back to this when I get a couple of things in order. It may be that I write again very soon or in a week, but I'll write again. For now it's focus on things at hand time.

Hey- read Amber's 100th post.

Until later...

Watch out for Joey, Jim.

2007-10-21T01:20:00.001-04:00

I wonder how many blogs have been written about Across the Universe, the Beatles, or Jim Sturges? I'm gonna say more than three. Hahaha. I also wonder about how many people have either seen the movie or have had friends that have seen it. All of this may explain why I think that a lot of people are tired are hearing about this movie. That said, this blog is about Across the Universe so stop reading if you are tired of the topic.

Wow, what a movie. Wow, what a cast. Wow, what an absurd use of the word wow. Really though, I enjoyed it so much I told my buddy that if there was another showing right after I would have stayed and watched it again. Thankfully and unfortunately I saw the 10:05 showing. It was late, I love the beatles, I'm a sucker for a love story and my heart bleeds for people who get hurt because of hate/misunderstandings. All of that and the smooth voices, artistic use of color, details, visual affects cued to the beat of the music made me squirm in my seat with excitement. I'm getting the soundtrack from my buddy and I can't wait for it to arrive. Confession: I bought one song already off Itunes because I couldn't wait to hear it. I'm trying hard not to buy more.

Added bonus/nervousness I went to see the movie with my new friend Clint. It was hard to tell if he thought it was a date and whether or not he thought I thought it was a date. Number one I hate crap like that. Drama in general makes me crazy. So when he asked if something I said was a pick up line, I made it clear it was just a line. Movie was great, he was pleasant, and we parted ways easily with a hug (this is only a big deal if you know me and hugs...I'm trying Amber). So, all in all a great Thursday.

I'll catch you up on Friday-Sunday later. More to report.

When it pours it rains?

2007-10-15T23:22:00.002-04:00

I talked to my mom and cousin tonight and gave both of them "my life for the past 3 weeks" in about a one hour conversation. It was a lot for them to take in but they had things to say that were real, wise, loving, and hard. My mom wasn't used to the outpouring of seriousness I laid down at her ears, but she listened and let me say everything, even letting me pause. She never made a sound until she knew I was done and then told me that I had a place at home and that it sounded like I had friends, real friends. She was floored that I thought my Spartanburg family might not take my coming out well, and that if the camp I work at in the summer didn't take me back she was sad for them and wouldn't understand it. She left me with the advice that whatever happens tomorrow (I'm calling it C-Day, coming out day..clever I know) is what is supposed to happen tomorrow. She wondered if I could wrap my head around that idea and I told her I'd try. Actually the more I think of it the more I can understand it. I was surprised that she didn't sympathize with those who weren't understanding.
Gigi, my cousin, said that I had been burned before and that this may happen again, but no matter what I was to give them time, give everyone time. I told her I would give as much time as needed. She shares my worry that its been kept a secret for so long that it might be taken from the position of deceit but even still that there is no backing down.
Tomorrow is C-Day. Tomorrow it will pour when it rains there is no doubt of that.

Interesting quote I read today in one of my daily quotes searches:

"To gain that which is worth having, it may be necessary to lose everything else."
-Burnadette Devlin

Tolerance

2007-10-11T23:18:00.001-04:00

Today was National Coming Out Day. Many people around the country held events on college campuses. USC Upstate held their event yesterday since today along with Friday is fall break. The Student Life Office, Pride, Upstate Feminists, along with many many straight allies celebrated with the gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community.

I showed interest in helping with prep work and setup and at the prep work meeting I was asked to do a "speak out" or "read out". I found myself wanting to do it so bad and wanting to decline just as bad. In the short second I was deciding in my head, YES left my lips. I couldn't have been more nervous and yet so excited. I was going to be with people who knew I was gay and that weren't going to ask me why or how I was doing with that. Every move I made and everything I said was supported. I received hugs, high fives, and well wishes and for one of few times in my life, I wanted to hug back. I think I've always wanted to hug back, but for a long time I've hated myself so much that any form of physical touch made my skin crawl.
I know now that I have a long way to go before I can love someone or be loved, but another part of me wants to know who is ready? Is anyone ready? Can love even be real for me?

When I finished my reading (I chose David Sedaris because he makes me laugh and cry) I wanted to fall back and be caught by all of my new friends in a dramatic way and go on from there with a new philosophy on life. Instead I hit the pizza and soda table and hid behind a tree and talked with one of the directors of student life. Who is shocked? Right.

All of this leads to my picture being taken numerous times at the event in the shirt we all wore that reads "Gay? fine by me". Along with a rainbow pin standing in front of a rainbow flag. I was ok with this and today I hopped on facebook and saw what the whole world was able to see- Joey at the Coming Out Day Festival. I franticly went to my privacy settings and couldn't figure out how to hide it and then debated on deleting my account, but I decided I didn't want to. Whoever finds it finds it. I'm tired of hiding and tired of lying. How can I read about coming out and how living a lie can eat at you inside and not do something about it myself? I refuse to be a coward anymore.
If this offends you or makes you uncomfortable I'm not sorry, but I can understand how it could make you feel. I have to be ready to loose friends and be looked at differently. I'll always be Joey and I've always been gay.

Dominoes!

2007-10-07T23:41:00.001-04:00

What a night! Pizza ala Amber, laughter ala Chris, and dominoes and conversation ala everyone else. I finally made it to Dominoes night and it was all I remembered from my first experience at Family Camp, well minus the heavy drinking by some of the participants. What more could one ask for on a Sunday night which is usually spent going to bed early, getting ready to face the week by watching TV and being lazy? It was so much fun in fact that I have made an "appointment" for this Wednesday to do it all again! This could be a weekly event I think, and why not? This is what I want in life- people to talk with, agree with, disagree with all in a friendly, loving setting. I'm not sure if everyone there would be as excited or would romanticize the evening in the same way and that's o.k. It is just another reason for me to like it! hahahaha

I encourage everyone to set up a weekly get together of some sort- bridge, dominoes, book club, pot luck, whatever. Just get together, talk, argue, laugh. It does a mind and body good.

Flowers and Barbed Wire

2007-10-04T20:32:00.000-04:00

As promised, I tried to keep this up to date during my trip. I didn't keep up with it, but I did try. haha.
I had the chance to write yesterday but I couldn't do it. I had so much I wanted to dump that I felt it would have been a mistake. That brings us to now. I'm home now after my trip with Macie into the wilds of Kentucky.
I wanted to share a picture that I took a couple of days ago. I thought it looked "artsy" when I took it but after yesterday I know I took it to share my feelings with it. I was walking with Macie from our tent to breakfast and I thought it was funny that there was a vine with flowers blooming on a barbed wire fence. Thats how I feel about the weekend now- it was a beautiful thing to spend time with two people I love so much and just be together...but it turned out to be in a place where it was hard. I think you can figure out what the flower is and what the barbed wire is.

I want to share something though. I feel that I have never been more ready to face the day than I do now. I want to tell people how it is and not worrying about making friends along the way. I feel more mature than ever. I feel I know what I want in life and what I am supposed to do in life and how those things aren't always on the same page. I feel that not everything will go my way and I'm glad about that.
I also have a confession. I care a lot about how people view me, and I try hard to show that I don't care at all. I'm working on that.

Thats all I can write for now, my innermost feelings are in knots.

Face the day tomorrow!

New Adventure

2007-10-01T20:07:00.000-04:00

We woke up yesterday and walked to a little Presbyterian Church near campus where we were welcomed with open arms and many questions. These people are in the business of showing God's love and that warmed this tired heart. I expected them to tell us about God's love and condemn our sinful ways. This is not what this church is about, at least I don't think so. The sermon was brought to us by Beth, can't remember her last name. She spoke on how being rich is not a sin. She used the Lazarus and rich man parable eloquently. I thoroughly enjoyed it for three main reasons- (1) She knew her own faults with using what God had given her (2) She knew what she was talking about but still managed to learn from what she was saying as she was saying it-amazing and (3) she told the truth in love which I think is hard to do. Wilmore Presbyterian Church has something going on that I would love to find in Spartanburg. This woman, while flawed and sinful like the rest of us has something I long for- capabilities that can govern her liabilities.

After church we walked around Wilmore a little and wound up at a coffee shop named Solomon's Porch. Delicious but the staff wasn't half as friendly as our Presbyterian friends.

Today's big story is that Macie and I moved from grandma's house (The Beeson) and set up our tent by a reservoir. We hope it is still there and that we can find it.
In between moves so much happened. I'll post about that later. The suspense should make you queasy and have clammy skins- its going to be that good. HA!

The Asbury Assholes

2007-09-29T23:17:00.001-04:00

We had a great day at Asbury College today. We went to a Baseball game and I noticed our cool shadows...and then we went to the highest railroad bridge east of the Mississippi.

Holland also showed us a dam for the Kentucky River- just upstream from the railroad bridge. We saw the "locks" for the dam and a couple of places around there where I think some heavy stuff goes down. There were also some dangerous things around which is why they must have put signs like this one:

After trespassing numerous times and swinging from ropes into frigid water (minus Macie) we attended the mens soccer game. We were wondering how to cheer on our Asbury friends and came up with the Asbury Aardvarks, Anteaters, and then Assholes- hence the post title. Who knows if they won or lost. We won when we decided to leave at half time and adjourn to our movie theater/grandma's house to watch Premonition which no one recommends anyone else seeing unless you want your brain/heart to hurt.

Its 12:25am and we have church tomorrow. I'll report on that later.

Hope your Saturday was great!

KY Day One

2007-09-29T11:29:00.001-04:00

Short update- Macie and I made it to Wilmore, KY after a LONG trip. We stopped at the Wendy's and had our pictures made.
Be jealous.

More soon....

Lustrous

2007-09-26T19:43:00.001-04:00

Like me, my blog has an identity disorder. I didn't like my blog look but I was too lazy to do anything about it until now. I was going to ask if you liked it, but that would mean I cared and to be honest, I don't. Wow, that sounds mean. Maybe it is.

I do however wouldn't mind some feedback on my new sections you will find to the right: things I like, etc.

I have a plan that I would like to share with all three of you, haha. On Friday, September 28th I will leave for Kentucky for a week. I am going to post travel updates every day and share something.

Get ready for something. Something great, something cool, something sad, something boring.

Goodnight Brain

2007-09-21T07:41:00.001-04:00

Do you ever really let your mind rest? I focused on that this morning and found myself thinking harder about things than before. "Give it a rest" is something that sounds easy. Rest your legs, rest your feet, rest your tired bones, etc. Resting your mind though must take practice. I guess Yoga people get that practice and learn how resting their minds works for them- or they are all big liars who just want a quiet moment in their otherwise hectic day.
Sometimes when I want to rest my mind I feel like I'm doing God or people around me a disservice. My mind should be working to solve problems, thinking about my friends, discerning right from wrong, etc. When I want to rest my mind it shouldn't mean "time to stare blankly at the tv", maybe it should mean "focus on what is important time". Maybe resting your mind can mean thinking about things in your life you are thankful for, or things in your life that you miss and love. I'm not sure I'll ever get to really rest my mind, and maybe that's ok.
If you have mind resting tips, procedures, or anecdotes, empty your mind here, maybe if you lessen the load it will be easier to rest...

UPSTATE!

2007-09-14T00:14:00.000-04:00

After a hiatus from school, I have returned to The University of South Carolina- Upstate! If you are wondering why I'm excited enough to include and exlaimation point, don't. The actual name on all literature from the school is "Upstate!". I'm hoping that my degree will also have one. Non-Profit Administration! That will be a great day. That great day will happen when it happens. I'm having to take it slow and it was upsetting at first but a friend at Upstate! told me that time was going to pass whether I took 2 classes or 5 classes, and for some reason that made me feel better at the time, and it has some lasting calming effects. Remember how I promised sometimes my blog would be poignant and other times not so much, well chalk this up in the not column (in case you are keeping track). While on the subject of my adoring fans, if you read this blog write at least one word in a comment so I know you visited. It would be the polite thing to do. No really, do it. HAHAHA

I have the weekend to do what I want and that hasn't happened in a long time, so naturally I'm going to Upstate! to be trained as a Safe Zone Ally. I'll let you know how that goes.

Jet Plane

2007-09-04T21:53:00.002-04:00

Everyone needs to watch this clip first of all. Second of all, I said goodbye to a good friend tonight, and it hurts, but this clip can always be a pick me up and a good memory.

Make good memories out there!

Bulls (Pit)

2007-08-30T19:26:00.001-04:00

I've always loved animals, especially dogs, and especially puppies. With that said let me tell you about two little angels that I now live with. Bailey (white) and Gio (black) are new additions to the family on Woodland Street. My roommate rescued them from a drain pipe.

As I write this, said roommate is out of state and Bailey is making sure my leg is nice and clean a.k.a. she is licking it so I'll play with her. It's pretty cute, but what a difference dogs can make- especially two scared pit bulls. I think they already are used to me, which is nice. It helped that Barrett is out of town and they have to depend on me. So the trust issue is taken care of. The poop and pee smell is not over however and I can't pick the fleas off Bailey fast enough. Sorry Gio, I can't find fleas on you. I applied the flea killer stuff last night and it seems the fleas are going crazy over it, biting Bailey more as they die off (I guess). They know how to sit and "come" is taking some time still, and forget really walking them- they are scared to leave the house except with Barrett. You will look at the pictures and think I'm crazy for not going gah gah over them, but hang out in a warm house with two flea motels that get into trouble and bite stuff, and you may come over to my side.

I guess I have to keep reminding myself that they are babies. Scared pit bull babies. Advice on raising loving Pit Bulls would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.
Watch the video of Bailey sitting and...shaking? Then its Gio's turn and he runs away.

Home

2007-08-28T08:29:00.001-04:00

I realised this summer that I use the term "home" in a way that is different than the norm. To most people home is where your permanent address is, or where your parents are: your hometown, etc. I understand that some people don't have a real home because they have traveled all their lives, but I've found from a couple of those cases that they still have an idea of home. To me home changes. I can talk about going home in the summer and mean either a shack, Tampa, FL or Spartanburg, SC. Sometimes I even feel like the camp kitchen where I work in the summer is home.

Last night I felt a real warmth that only a "home' can provide. This home happened to be in Spartanburg, SC. It's great coming back to friends who can just pick up where things were left, jump right back in. Its great.

Homes are amazing I've decided because not everyone has one, and some people have a home but they want to get as far away as possible from it. So, if you are like me and have a home that you like or homes that you like, feel good about today, let the blessings of everything that makes home great put things in perspective for you. It has helped me not be so sad about leaving my summer home.

Pretending

2007-08-26T15:59:00.002-04:00

Inspiration and some time to kill helped get this blog started: Barrett told me that I seem like a blog kind of guy so if its bad talk to him. Another friend of mine, Holland came up with title to my blog- thanks man. Yet another friend, Amber has a blog that I find fascinating, maybe you will too.
http://amoviegoer.blogspot.com/
She is the main reason I want to try this out.

You know when you are a child and you first start pretending? You are a teacher and have a class full of stuffed rabbits and bears, or you are a doctor operating on those same (now sick) animals?

I think this is something that we learn to do because we want to be like the people in charge of our lives but also because its fun. Now in my life when I pretend it takes more thought and preparation and usually involves more props then it used to. A ruler is not a sword, its just a ruler, so I need a sword to be a knight, not a ruler...ya know?

Anyway, this all leads up to the pretending I've done lately- the kind that makes you feel like everything is ok. I've pretended that people I care for dearly haven't left for a long time, but are merely on a short vacation. I've pretended that I'm not upset when things don't go my way. Pretending has turned into something not fun anymore.

Just like when I was a child and pretend time was over, now it hits a little harder when pretending doesn't work and the true feelings come out. When those feelings come out its great to know that people do care around me, and that I can pray and give my burdens away, because without that, without the peace that comes from that, I would pretend that my life was perfect.