Here lies 2008

New year, new look. Change is good when you are in control of the change. I guess it can even be good when you aren't in control. Really, it can be good or bad whether you are in control or not. Hmm. However, change does not necessarily have to be good or bad. It must not be the change that is good or bad, but how we handle the change. No, some change is inherantly bad or good but it still is important to look at the change and work with it, up or down. Hmm.

I've done a little research into my parents past lives and have come up with a question. To be honest, questions:
Q#1: How much information do I need?
Q#2: What information do I need?
Q#3: How should I go about collecting the information? i.e. should I interview people? Should I write or call my parents first spouses?
Q#4: (The BIG QUESTION- that may help answer other questions) Why am I doing this project?

I think the answer to Q#4 will have to be answered as I go along.

I found some old photos, letters, and memorbilia from the past and even sat down with my mom and looked over some things, but that is for another post.

Must be a clean chicken

The house is eerily empty tonight. Barrett has gone home for Christmas and Gio and Bailey are at the dog motel. It's left me with a lot of time just to think about everything. A friend of mine told me that all I do is think and never really act. I don't take criticism very well, and it kind of made me angry until I realized that I was thinking about how I felt. hahaha. Funny how I was shown the truth.

Anyway, back to me over-thinking things. I have been thinking about Christmas and what it is and what it means, and where it lives, etc. I've also been thinking about why it goes away and comes back again on a yearly basis. Why do we have a box labeled "Xmas stuff" in the attic/basement? If we don't put out a nativity scene, twinkle lights, a tree and some stockings are we atheists? On the flip side, if we leave out the nativity scene all year are we lazy or just thankful for Jesus? After a long debate with myself I've come up with no real answers.
What I've come up with is more questions of course, but also a basic statement that I hope I can remember when questions come up: "stop worrying and go outside". I did that today and saw a lot! I watched a man clean his tires at the top of our hilly street and waited for the water to trail down all the way until it reached my feet, I saw a couple drive up to a house across the street and watched them get the courage to finally go in. There were tiny raindrops on my car and the air smelled like fabric softener and fried chicken. It was amazing. Outside there are a lot of things. Water, bravery, and clean chicken smells. I highly recommend loosing yourself outside- get some things in your head that allow your brain to take a break.

Mas Menos Christ

I wonder how a stranger would picture me based on my blog. It is something that I don't think about too much but I was wondering if other bloggers out there have thought that. Well?

As far as my last post about heroes I would like to come back to that some other time if at all. What is on my mind right now is Christmas, and how for the first time I don't really have the Christmas Cheer inside me. I don't really want to go out and buy gifts for people or wrap things up in cute little packages and sip hot chocolate and sing carols with the family.
Before you label me a grinch or a scrooge hear me out.

While the "retailization of Christmas" has played a part in my feelings I do not want to peg it all on the malls, wal-mart, etc. They are only acting in a way in which they know we will react. If they put out twinkle lights, candy canes, lotion baskets, golf-tee and money clips gifts in October then people will buy them. Why? Who wants that crap anyway. Sorry if you bought that stuff, you can still return it Christmas is a week away, plenty of time.
It doesn't help that I'm poor either. Maybe if I had more money I would like Christmas more. Nah, it still runs our lives too much for me to get all behind it. How so you might ask? Stress to get the right gift, stress on pleasing people in your lives by giving enough time here and there, sitting through another meal with family right after you just did it a month ago...etc.

What about Jesus? What does He have to say about Christmas? Would he be throwing tables of fruitcakes and popcorn tins out on the street saying, "What the hell are you guys doing?". Not likely, although I would like to see it. I think Jesus would say something like this, "Its just my birthday guys, and really my birthday isn't in December, but hey, thanks for sending all those cards with sweet sentiments that you didn't write. Way to do some recruiting though!" No, another jest, but for weeks now I go to bed wondering "what Christmas is all about" and I guess if it means that you get together with your family, give more to charities than normal, and think about how fortunate we all are thanks to a little babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in some hay, then I'll suck it up and smile when I open my yearly gift of socks and underwear and say, "thank you for these cotton undergarments, OH! and also for eternal life".

Ghouls and Grace

We had many children dressed up as sweet princesses, witches, spidermen, and vampires come knock on our door last Wednesday. Like this one:As the night when on of course the children got older and older because of hour and darkness, but what else started was that we got many people not dressed up. I think this exact group of people came over for candy:Grown people not even saying trick or treat, just coming by with a garbage bag looking for their fix.


Fast forward to the end of the week and today. I have been trying to find the use for this little handmade book. I'll take a picture and show you- it would be easier than describing it.
Ok, so I'm going to use this book as a "journal" for the things I see during my day-to-day life that remind me of God's grace. What will remind me of God's grace? Thanks for asking. The first entry is going to be just a couple of words- "support all around". It's true, I don't deserve all the support that God has put around me. It's amazing. I know that I might stretch the true meaning of grace from time to time when I notice something that makes me feel good, but it's my little book, so back off. LOL.


Switching gears again...What I hope to do today:
1)Eat something exotic
2)Clean My Room (this is a goal every weekend that is hard to accomplish)
3)Take a shower and not a "I have to hurry up and get done showering", a "I have all the time in the world shower."
4)Laundry (I hate it)
5)Drive to the Asheville, NC area to see sister Sarah. I'll leave you with a photo of sister Sarah.

She'll love that it's been posted.
Happy weekending!